the announcing booth. Fans get sick and tired of the total “commercial broadcast” week in, week out. The broadcast is one long infomercial from the pre-race show to the Victory Lane interviews and everything in between. There are 43 competitors on the track and fans for each and every one of them. Why don’t we get to see all 43 cars? Wrecks happen and the yammering from the booth takes precedence over what’s happening on the track and if we’re lucky, we might get to see the wreck on a replay (like Robby Gordon's wreck at Dover), providing it’s a team who’s sponsor bought commercial time or paid mention money (remember who avoided the wreck?). Otherwise, we might not get to see it at all because of the poor coverage. We miss race restarts because the “commercial programming” is a higher priority than the race that’s supposed to be shown. Then we get race interruptions which serve absolutely no purpose from Moe Ron Myers and Jeff Hambone except to plug Focks advertisers and products.
Then there’s Goopher showing up and ruining what would be a great shot of the BOW WOW passing over the camera. Then there’s the actual race itself which has become about as exciting as watching paint dry because of the BOW WOW on the track. It’s no wonder race fans aren’t watching the races and the ratings are dropping. No, Goopher isn’t to blame. It starts at the top Mr. Hill and you’re it. A true leader accepts the blame for his subordinates, and it’s obvious you’re not a true leader. Any bets he tries to blame Jr. the way Faux King Brian did?
And in something related, it seems that Focks is trying to bring back a former exec in order to try to turn things around. If this is the case, Mr. Hill had better be updating his resume. The best solution to turn things around with the race broadcasts is to can Hill, can the bulk of the Booth Buffoons, bring an announcer or two out of retirement or bring them over from MRN or PRN, and tell His Royal Highness to take his mandated TV coverage dictates and place them where the sun don’t shine. This would be a good start. Now if they can force some major changes to the BOW WOW to liven things up.
A lot of stuff about the crew chief change and no excuses now for Jr., he doesn’t need to make any excuses anyways. He’s got the NA$CAR apologists, like Jabber Jaws, his parrot, the Co-owner of Motormouth Motorsports, and the entire lamestream NA$CAR media circus to do that for him, which is something that turns a lot of people off. We’d like to hear the excuses, if any, directly from Jr. and not from somebody who’s breath bears the stench from the back of Faux King Brian’s Depends after they’re done kissing His Majesty’s “la fleur du derriere“.
Jr.’s 12th place finish is a big improvement over where he’s been finishing most of the season. Was it just a fluke or is it a true sign of a turn-around? I guess we’ll be seeing as the rest of the season marches on.
With the release of Mayfield’s court papers and NA$CAR’s official drug policy, more questions arise. Based on what Mayfield said in his court papers, he’s being treated for ADHD, a medical condition which does exists in adults as well as children. According to the papers, Dr. Black stated that Mayfield was too old to be treated for ADHD. This is one heck of an opening for Mayfield’s lawyer. Is Dr. Black a specialist in ADHD or is he just a specialist in drug testing or is he just a General Practitioner or is he just a relative of Daffy Duck? One of the medications which is prescribed for ADHD is Adderall, which is what Mayfield is taking. Adderall is a prescription amphetamine and will give a positive test result for amphetamine (naturally since it is one) and a false positive for meth.
The court papers do specifically mention that NA$CAR does not have a list of prohibited substances and that Mayfield was never informed that the Adderall and Claritin-D were prohibited substances. The condition of the specimen cups and collection area and procedure is described as being neither non-sterile nor secure and described the faults of the urine collection process and that Mayfield was never provided in writing or orally any rights or responsibilities he had in regards to the sample collection. It also describes Mayfield’s attempts to contact Dr. Black. Apparently, Mayfield didn’t donate a “B” sample, so you have to wonder just where it came from. The B Sample was tested by the same lab and not sent out for independent testing. Another interesting tidbit shows that His Royal Highness is a resident of North Carolina. This might explain the recent decline in palm tree destruction in Daytona and an increase in palmetto bashing in North Carolina since the two do look a lot alike.
I did some research and it does appear that Faux King Brian has yet another castle, this one under his wife’s name in Charlotte. It’s valued at $1,166,000 and has 5 bedrooms, 5 baths, and 2 half baths. He still has his Royal Condominium (which he thinks will protect him from STD’s) in Daytona Beach valued at a trifling $256.7K, a house worth about $600K, and as far as I can find out, he still has his LaLaLand residence, which is in Beverly Hills 90210, with an estimated value over $3.5 million. Any bets he bought that thinking he would see Tory Spelling and the rest of the cast of the original 90210? Not to mention the new $10.7 million pad in NYC. You have to wonder how he can afford all these Royal Residencies. Is he like the Mad King Ludwig of Bavaria who bankrupted his kingdom building castles everywhere? The last figure I saw on what His Highness was pulling in around $230K a year from NA$CAR. Peanuts when compared to what was estimated he “inherited” when he took over from Little Bill, approximately $56.7 million. You figure he’s probably getting about the same from annual pay of $230K I$C. So just how can he afford all these properties, especially with the stock market crashing as it has? Maybe a certain auto manufacturer is helping him out? Plus how can he be a resident of California, NC, Fla., and NY all at the same time? I guess 4 drivers’ licenses keeps him safely in his PTAV (Palm Tree Assault Vehicle). Anyways, the bottom line from the Mayfield court papers is if what they say are true, there’s some real problems with the whole drug testing program, the conditions in which specimens are collected are deplorable, and the company conducting them isn‘t all that good. Not to mention what a joke it means NA$CAR’s drug policy actually is.
The papers that NA$CAR had to submit regarding their drug testing program leaves a few questions too. There doesn’t seem to be a clear cut definition as to just who or what a NA$CAR Official is. The policy does specifically mention drivers, crewmembers, mechanics, “Officials“and “may be applied to other participants in a NA$CAR event“. So just what is a participant? This isn’t spelled out either. Does this mean that those caught-in-the-headlight looking Sprint girls could be tested? Does this mean that the broadcast crew could be tested? Does this mean that the Focks Booth Buffoons could be tested? Does this mean that members of the lamestream media could be tested? And as fans participate by their presence at the track cheering on their favorite drivers, does this mean that NA$CAR is going to test them? These things need to be spelled out.
We’ve either read or heard at one time or another that the Royal Henchmen (Mafia Mike, etc) are referred to as being “NA$CAR Officials”. So if they are “Officials”, are they being tested for drugs and/or alcohol the same way that the drivers, mechanics, and crewmembers are and under the same conditions and locations? Is His Royal Highness an actual “Official” or is he a “participant“? If so, is he being tested as the policy calls for? Looking through the list of symptoms, I can see where at least 5 of them would mandate that His Royal Highness be tested; broken promises, inability to remember or concentrate, mental confusion, physical signs of red or droopy eyes, slurred speech or stumbling. Hmm, every speech we’ve seen on TV in which His Majesty tries to say something, we’ve seen a lack of concentration, inability to remember, slurring, and mental confusion. He did promise to make racing exciting again and he hasn’t delivered on that promise. He also promised to reach out to the old fans and bring them back to the sport. He broke that promise too. So based on those things alone, he should be required to be drug tested. But as the definition of an “Official” and “participant” is as clear as the definition of what actions are detrimental to stock car racing, well, this will need to be clarified.
Conspicuous by its absence is the list of prohibited substances. But based on what is spelled out about the collection procedures, it appears that if Mayfield’s statements are true regarding that, that his samples weren’t properly collected and could possibly be tainted, especially the mysterious B Sample which Mayfield says he didn’t submit. If this is true, then that means somebody fabricated or substituted the B Sample. That’s not good for NA$CAR or the lab from a legal standpoint. But I’m sure more and more will be coming out as the case progresses. Mayfield was unable to get a restraining order prohibiting NA$CAR from barring him from the track or from participating as an owner/driver, but he was able to get NA$CAR and the testing company to shut their yaps about the case and his test results.
And speaking of drug testing, should Jeff Burton be tested for saying the racing today is better than ever?
When going through the Annual Stockholders report for I$C, I found it interesting that Edsel Ford II, of Ford Motor Company, is on the Board of Directors for I$C. You’d think he’d be able to pull some strings to help out the Ford teams. But as it’s not NA$CAR, I guess he can’t do much. Plus he didn’t cough up $93 million the way another manufacturer did to sway things in their favor. The picture of Princess Lesa in the I$C Annual Report isn’t very flattering. It doesn’t look like she has a neck and that her outfit is about 3 sizes too large and had been slept in for several days. But, that’s what happens when you surround yourself with “Yes Men”. Maybe she needs a couple of the former Queer Eye for the Straight Guy stars as advisors for her wardrobe? There are pictures of Dale Jr. in the annual report, so obviously I$C doesn’t think he’s the reason for all of NA$CAR’s problems. Looking through the Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) filings, it looks like I$C is trying to buy back its stock. There’s a lot of changes of beneficial securities ownership going on. So for you fans who own I$C stock, hang on to it and force them to pay top dollar. Or better yet, just hang onto it unless you’re really strapped financially.
In other financial news regarding NA$CAR, Forbes estimates that the final cost of conversion by the teams to the dreaded BOW WOW was to the tune of $100 million dollars upfront. BIG OUCH in the pocketbook. Where’s the savings in this NA$CAR? Forbes didn’t mention how much money the teams lost on selling off their old cars. Every time His Highness says he’s going to save the teams money, it’s another case of BOHICA. It didn’t stop the creation of specialized cars for each track as His Majesty said it would. The mega-teams have done just that. They have specialized cars for the short tracks, cookie cutters, and plate tracks, just like before. The only teams who don’t have the fleet of specialized cars is the independent and start and park teams. They definitely aren’t getting any savings out of the BOW WOW considering what they had to lay out initially for the conversion.
One quote in the Forbes article has His Royal Highness saying, "We are different than stick-and-ball sports." and yet we see him trying to force NA$CAR into the stick and ball mold with the terms his uses about NA$CAR and the Chase for the Chumps format. I think the PGA regrets trying to use this same format because of the big names, like Tiger Woods, don’t bother showing up for the small tournaments held during the PGA’s equivalent to the Chase for the Chumps. They stay home and rest up for the new season to start. You know that’s got to hurt attendance and TV ratings. Are you taking the hint there Your Majesty?
In the political arena, The Emperor of All Things NA$CAR had a very vested interest in Rudy Giuliani’s campaign as shown in an article from Boston.com in 2007:
Similarly, NASCAR chairman Brian Z. France is a big Giuliani backer, and Giuliani's campaign paid $37,872 to a company that manages France's aircraft. The company, Capital Circle Group Limited Partnership, has a Charlotte, N.C., address, but was established in Reno, and lists a principal office in Los Angeles, where it is managed by a friend and business associate of France.
Besides the use of France's plane and at least $62,700 in contributions from France and his employees, Giuliani appeared at three NASCAR races this year, most recently in November at the finale of the Ford 400 Nextel Cup finale in Homestead, Fla., where he addressed drivers and fans and, with his wife, Judith, took a lap around the track in the official pace vehicle.
Do you think that Faux King Brian was trying to buy some political influence to help get the Staten Island track built? Nah, he’d never do anything like that. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. And wow, His Highness has a friend. I wonder if it’s a real friend or one like the Royal Binky or Stinky the Clown?
And speaking of Stinky, during the Focks broadcast, there was a skit in which they were supposedly at Homestead. Did anyone notice that some seagull left a deposit of Stinky on Jabber Jaws’ nose? Too bad they missed Moe Ron Myers and Hambone.
I have to chuckle when I see things like “NA$CAR listened” when it comes to the big meeting. Did they actually listen or were they just hearing? There’s a big difference between the two. We’ll know for sure if we see any changes being made to the BOW WOW, dumping the play-off system, and dumping the Top 35 rule. NA$CAR still needs to meet face to face with the fans though. From what I read, their supposed Fan Council is a farce. They poll them with questions that are written in such a way that no matter what the answer is, it makes NA$CAR look good. Let me write the question and answer selections. Maybe then you’ll get some real honest polling results.
For those that didn’t see the Dover Truck Series race, tire problems were a big player. It seems that the Truck Series has become the new testing grounds for the Cup Series. NA$CAR wasn’t sure how the splitter would work, so they tested it on the trucks under race conditions then forced it on the truck teams. From what some of the drivers told me when this experiment was going on, they preferred the old air dam system. But then, Faux King Brian always knows what’s best for the sport. There have been several tracks where Badyear has had tire problems and instead of bringing tires specifically for the trucks, they make them run the Cup tires. Dover is a prime example of this. And you notice the Booth Buffoons kept saying things like “cut tires”, “his tire went down”, etc. etc. etc. Every excuse in the book was used to attempt to cover up the fact that Badyear once again brought a crappy tire to a race. And if things are this bad right now, just think of how bad Indy could be: Another repeat of last year’s debacle? Anyone else thinks it’s time to have a tire war to see which tire manufacturer can actually produce a decent racing tire for all 3 series and for all the tracks?
I got a chuckle from Matt McLaughlin’s description of Joey Logano saying he looked a lot like the Joker from the old Batman TV series. With the kid being skinny as a rail and a really long neck, I was thinking he looks more like a giraffe. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I guess. I also got a chuckle out of Matt’s use of a Curtis Turner quote. Unfortunately for us Matt, Bill Sr. probably thought it was fun to watch. Why else would NA$CAR have had their own drag racing division many years ago under Bill Sr.’s leadership?
As to the Cup Lite race, once again, bad fortune clips the Shrub and pruned any chances of a win. I know, that was corny. The “wonderful” Badyear tires came into play and a flat tire took care of Shrub winning. And once again, the same results when the race was over; a sullen look, no comments, a quick change of clothing and a disappearing act that makes Houdini look like a slacker. You can’t win all the time Shrubby. Don’t believe what the lamestream media has said about the 200 wins and don’t let the press remarks go to your head. Otherwise, you’ll need a custom helmet and a convertible to be able to fit your head in the vehicle.
An update on the Robby Gordon penalty…Apparently the divine and all knowing NA$CAR decided that since they had come down so hard on Mayfield and Long, they decided not to be so tough on Robby. That’s a sprout in Robby’s favor. However, and you knew a however was coming, it seems there was a reason why Robby was singled out. He made a better showing than the Chosen Ones. The unwashed and unannoited can’t be doing that you know. Despite the fact that he had previously run that same rear end housing and it passed inspection. It also seems that one of the high dollar teams who are in the good graces of His Royal Highness also had the same types of rear ends in their cars and in the same configuration but weren’t penalized for it. It’s bad enough that NA$CAR can’t be consistent with their rules and penalties. But to penalize a team using the same type of equipment in the same position in the same configuration on their car that somebody else uses and to not penalize the other cars because they are in the good graces of His Highness really makes you wonder if there really is anything such as a fair penalty in NA$CAR. Singling out the little guys for doing what the big guys are doing plain and simply creates a vacuum upon a rather large phallic symbol.
Robby's going to be a busy man this week traveling around the country and running Baja. Rumor has it that Travis Kvapil will be taking care of Robby's Pocono car until Robby runs it on Sunday, providing Mother Nature doesn't interfere.
Praise the Lord that the Focks broadcast season is over. No more blatant cheerleading, no more Goopher, no more Jabber Jaws, no more Hollyweird Motel, no more Moe Ron Myers, no more personal agendas, and no more commercial upon commercial and plugs for the sponsors being shoved down our throats. Now it’s 6 weeks of TNT infomercials about their new fall line-up being briefly interrupted by a lap or two of racing. And NA$CAR wonders why the TV ratings are down.
Expect to see some changes before the season is over with the rules. Don’t be surprised if the double file restart makes an appearance in time for the Chase for the Chumps in an attempt to salvage the TV ratings before the end of the season. Too little too late.
If NA$CAR really wants to start next season off with a bang, they need to look at switching the cars over to stock sheet metal and letting the teams have some testing time with the new bodies. This, coupled with the double file restart and elimination of the Top 35 might turn things around with the TV ratings. But of course, since I mentioned it and it makes some sense, you know the Emperor of All things NA$CAR won’t bother with it.
Interesting that Rick Hendrick doesn’t think that a GM bankruptcy will affect their stake in NA$CAR. With the government running things and the President’s push towards “all things green”, you have to wonder considering the Green Machine thinks that racing is a waste of natural resources and it contributes to the greenhouse gases, and so on and so forth. But then, for a man who purchased a Presidential Pardon for $350,000 (a real steal if you ask me) from then President Bill Clinton, I guess maybe he’s got an inside track on government things we don’t now about. Money is power as the old saying goes.
Speaking of Hendrick, did anyone else get sick of Jabber Jaws continuous cheerleading for Jimmie Johnson? I mean Smoke drives a Chevy. Smoke makes for good print in the media. Biffle was having one of his best runs in a while. Oops, my bad, I forgot. Smoke and Biffle aren’t covered by Faux King Brian’s mandated TV coverage and we know where Jabber Jaws has his lips firmly planted.
If it hadn’t been for Robby’s penalty for the rear
end being illegal at Charlotte being talked about
and him getting wrecked, I’d never have known
he was in the race. Anybody else feel that way
about there drivers who aren’t covered under the
Daytona TV Dictates? And how about the failure
of the race ticker towards the end of the race?
Was it for real or was Focks trying to keep
something from being shown? I know it sounds
like a conspiracy theory but with Focks’ agenda,
Jabber Jaws agenda, and the mandated
coverage, you really have to wonder if there was
something really embarrassing being shown on
the ticker that we weren’t supposed to see.
Anyone else happen to notice that the Prelude to the Dream isn’t getting the same promotion it did last season? I wonder if it might have something to do with Tony not promoting NA$CAR or using it to promote NA$CAR’s agendas that might have the networks not making much mention of it because it has upset His Royal Highness? He’s using it to promote our fallen heroes, which I would think NA$CAR would be behind with all the fly-overs, the moment of silence at Charlotte and the other military displays we see week after week at the races. Maybe a note to Bill O'Reilly for Tony being a patriot under O’Reilly’s “Pinheads and Patriots” segment might be in order. After all, the Wounded Warrior Project is one of O’Reilly’s causes.
If you think that the races at Pocono are going to bore you to tears, go out and buy or rent some movies like “Saving Private Ryan”, “Band of Brothers” or “The Longest Day” and remember all the brave soldiers, sailors, and airmen who made the ultimate sacrifice during the D-Day invasion. “Those who fail to learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat them”.
Motherhood, Apple Pie, and John Wayne
Mad Mikie, Curmudgeon at Large
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