which hasn‘t delivered on its’ hype, is also the same person who keeps the networks from having the same sort of split screen coverage that TNT did at Daytona and what the IRL does for their races. One "x" with a half-eaten crayon and we could have the same coverage that TNT provided each and every week. Imagine, not having to listen to the Booth Buffoons of Focks as much as we have to now. Or having to listen to less of the less than thrilling commentary coming from the track mortuary, I mean E$PN broadcast booth. If their commentary got any more exciting I might have to start using those books on tape to liven things up starting with Webster’s Dictionary and we all know how exciting that is.
I had to good laugh over Shrubbery’s statement about Stewart dumping him. Does he realize what that sounds like? One guy dumping another guy? Talk amongst yourselves and draw your own conclusions. And some folks thought him talking about Pit Lizards was bad. This one definitely tops that. It almost rates up there with the Co-owner of Motormouth Motorsports saying Kahne and Sorenson were cute.
Things have gotten so bad with NA$CAR’s Drug Program that Jayski had to set up a separate page for it.
I had a chuckle after reading about Jeremy Mayfield’s wild goose chase and having to have a “Willy Watcher”, a NA$CAR Security Guard, there when he gave his sample. “Hi big boy. I’m NA$CAR Security Guard Officer B. Zachary. I’m a Leo, I like pink chiffon, men who aren’t afraid to cry, patent leather pumps, I hate palm trees and anything redneck, and since you’ve got your pants down around your ankles, could you squeal like a piggy, pretty please?” Good thing Mayfield didn’t have “performance anxiety” or they could’ve been there for a long time waiting for that sample.
Mayfield saying he didn’t get the message right away is believable. I’ve got one of the major carriers for my cell service and have had some voicemails show up on my phone a couple of days later. I’ve had text messages which never were received. Plus leaving a message on his phone? Come on, that’s a bit ridiculous. Why didn’t NA$CAR have somebody deliver the message personally? If they can have a guard there to play Willy Watcher, they certainly can have somebody deliver the message to him personally.
Along with this, since Mayfield can be tested anytime, anywhere, you have to wonder why the other drivers aren’t being tested in the same way. They’re being tested at the track, which is pretty convenient for them since they have to be there anyways. But if the “test anywhere anytime” policy is in effect, you have to wonder why everyone isn’t being tested like that. Of course, we all know the answer as to why. The fine NA$CAR tradition of getting back at drivers who rock the Imperial Barge or threaten the status quo and that‘s exactly what Mayfield is doing right now.
Mark Martin definitely “stunk up the show” in Joliet. Ms Terry DeBris made several appearances as a stock yard worker, but because they were at commercial, we never got to see her. Isn’t that an amazing coincidence? We had several drivers bounce off the wall during the night and no cautions were called but when Roto-Reutimann bounced off the wall, a caution came out. Another example of the lack of consistency in making calls. But then, what do you expect when you have Mr. Magoo as your head official?
Shrubbery bounced off the wall several times with no cautions being brought out and it wasn’t until he finally blew his engine and smacked the wall that he got a caution. And you have to wonder just how much closer NA$CAR is getting to being a full blown WWE on Wheels when you hear Jimmie Johnson talking about how the older Busch “body slammed” him. What next? Cousin Carl delivering a DDT on Jeff Gordon? Mark Martin giving a “Pedigree” to Jeff Burton? Robby Gordon punishing Kasey Kahne with a Patagonian Nose Hold? The Co-owner of Motormouth Motorsports giving a “Pile Driver” to Roto-Reutimann? To paraphrase a line from Billy Joel, “It’s just racer-tainment to me”.
I noticed how The Mayor was complaining after he got caught up in a wreck at Joliet how he wasn’t happy with the double file restart. He said that it had been 4 weeks since they started it and how he had been in 4 wrecks as a result of it. Like I said before, the double file restart isn’t going to solve what’s really wrong with NA$CAR. It’s just another distraction from the real problems.
If The King wants to know about running two brands of car at the same time, he needs to go talk to the folks at Carter-Simo. They’ll have Texas Terry driving one brand and Boris Said (Who Said? Boris Said!) driving another. It looks like Carter-Simo is going to be doing some more races with the two drivers splitting duties starting at Indy with Texas Terry. Since Jeremy Mayfield’s sponsor seems to have severed ties with him, maybe Carter-Simo can pick them up since they‘re in dire need of a sponsor?
GM cut its’ racing budget drastically, Chrysler/Fiat cut theirs drastically, but Ford did all their budget cutting last season and as such the Ford teams aren’t having the “lack of support” angst that the GM and Dodge teams are having this year. While Ford has been criticized over the last few years regarding some of their financial dealings off track, they seem to be the only one of the Big 3 not going into bankruptcy and needing government bail-outs. It looks like the old slogan “Ford has a better idea” seems to be true.
If I were Chip and Dale Racing, I’d have somebody at NA$CAR’s secret R&D facility bright and early on Monday morning to watch the proceedings and raise some questions when they tear Truex Jr.’s car apart for the rear end being too high after the race. Not that I don’t trust NA$CAR but I plain and simply do not trust NA$CAR.
In something unrelated, it seems a rumor appeared that a certain somebody’s rear end was also too high, which appears to be affecting his ability to make rational decisions, breaking promises, slurring his speech, red droopy eyes, abnormal thoughts and ideas, mental confusion, the aroma of an alcoholic beverage on his breath, and a red nose are also some other symptoms. Not to mention spilling “sodas” and falling off his bar stool. But these are only rumors.
If Mark Martin can maintain the lead in the wins column and stay in the Top 10, he’ll go into the Chase for the Chumps in the #1 position.
I got a kick out of Kyle Petty’s comments about what happens after the crush panels are damaged with the cussing and hallucinating. Not to mention the fun he and Dolly Wallinback seemed to have had after Shrubbery blew his engine. While not serious broadcasting, it gave a good touch to the proceedings.
The end of the TNT broadcast season has come and with it goes the best race coverage we’ve had this season. Now we get to “look forward” to the Commentating Corpses of E$PN and their lack of exciting commentary. Maybe they could provide live coverage of the urinalysis proceedings and change the network name to IBPN?
While not NA$CAR, it seems that Faux King Brian’s attitude has paid them a visit. At a recent event in Colorado, NHRA Head Honcho Tom Compton, made a statement last week that anyone (pros) that didn't at least attempt to make all 4 qualifying runs would not get paid or get points for qualifying. In Colorado this week, 16 dragsters and 16 funny cars signed up for 16 car fields in each class. This is kind of normal for Colorado because of the changes needed for the higher altitude. Anyway, the low buck guys, to save parts & money, usually just make the number of runs needed to make the show. Looks like since they wouldn't get paid if they didn't make all the runs, some of them packed up and left. As of Saturday afternoon only 14 dragsters and 14 funny cars had run. It seems that whoever adopts the Chase for the Chumps format always seems to have leadership dictatorial problems. We’ve seen how the Chase for the Chumps has become a flop in NA$CAR and the PGA. I guess it’s a flop with the NHRA too. Thanks for the info Bill.
Normally I like to close out with something good
about our military but this time, it’s about
something bad that could be happening to our
retired military veterans. Despite the fact that
previous Congressional laws gave our veterans
certain entitlements to medical care, the
Congressional Budget Office (CBO) plans to
eliminate the Tricare for Life program, which
covers the medical needs for retirees over 65 and
certain other military retirees who are disabled.
What we have is some pencil-pushers and
bean-counters who have never served in the
military, much less defended this country for 20
years or more now trying to eliminate certain
promises, contracts, and obligations, moral,
implied, and legal, which were taken in good faith by these former members of the Armed Forces when they enlisted that they’d have these benefits when they reached 65. So what can you do as race fans or military veterans? Contact your elected officials in DC and tell them in the strongest terms possible that you’re opposed to the CBO proposal to eliminate Tricare for Life in order to help pay for other government projects, such as the “wonderful” pork barrel spending that continues to go on despite the promises by the Commander in Chief that he’d eliminate them. If they want to fund legitimate government projects, then take them out of the money set aside for pork barrel spending or the new PC term, earmarks.
Motherhood, Apple Pie, and John Wayne
Mad Mikie, Curmudgeon at Large
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